Many of you have probably opened this blog to think, ‘not more mental health’. But, the truth be known…we don’t have enough actual talk on mental health within our own four walls. There will probably be spelling mistakes and grammatical errors along the way; however this blog is purely written with the intention of helping anyone, who feels they are struggling. So from one ordinary but struggling human being to another-enjoy!
Coming from a traditional Italian upbringing from an early age it was instilled in me to always ‘tough it out’ and if you cry make sure you ‘clean your face before going in public’. These generational habits, while toxic, all came from a place of love from my parents. We are all taught at some point, that in order to survive in this day and age we must appear to be strong.
It’s taken a while,but, now I know that the very definition of strength is to acknowledge and accept ALL of your emotions. They all serve a purpose and teach us lessons, yes, even the ones that make us want to stay in bed all day and shut the world out!
I am fortunate to have grown up in a secure family bubble. I was very much a daddy’s girl. My dad was the matriarch of the family, the grounding centre. Just like how everything revolves around the sun, we all revolved around him. Dad never showed emotion but he hated anyone of us being upset. However, all upset and negativity had to be resolved behind closed doors in order to maintain a ‘strong’ family image to outside world.
You’ll notice that I speak about my dad in past tense. This is because last year (March 2020) we lost him to Covid and well, for our family, it’s had the same effect as the sun exploding and sending all the planets in the universe into complete turmoil. The very person, who kept us all grounded and taught us how to handle our emotions -whether rightly or wrongly- had gone. I suddenly realised that unintentionally I had been let down. I had not been taught one important life skill-identification and acceptance of ALL emotions.
(My Dad and I)
The day dad died, most of my inner power went with him. I was left with not knowing how I felt or who I was. All I knew is that I was suddenly filled with an array of negativity. Not being taught how to handle all emotions meant that, not only did I not know how to respond in difficult times but equally found I was inadequate at helping others.
It’s taken me along time to start to feel remotely like I’m in control. If there’s only one thing I can pass onto you, which I have now learnt from this traumatising time, is that EVERYTHING in life is presented to us to help us grow.
After a while, I had finally found the courage to ask for help; I thought that would be the most difficult part and the rest of the path well signed posted. Without knowing I had entered a ‘car boot sale world’ of help. The thing is, there is actually a lot of help out there for mental health. But, when your are at your lowest, trying to navigate through all the sites and other services is a complete minefield. Turn left if you feel sad, click here if you feel depressed, turn right if you feel angry. Hold on! What if you don’t know how you feel? Hence the start of my blog…
I had put off starting this blog for months, but in the end I thought if I could create a platform, which shared small bite-sized daily techniques and activities. Even if it only reaches or designates with one person, it would still be worth it. So where to start? By taking back YOUR POWER. You’ve already started by reading this and realising you are NOT alone. Each post will focus on a small thing you can do daily, which (hopefully) will provide a little bit of ‘rest’ and inject a tiny bit of positivity into your mind. There’s no quick fix, taking back your power is a life long journey. But hopefully, these upcoming tips will give you a small boost when you feel at your emptiest.
Remember to be kind to yourself and for now my first tip until I write again, is to pick up a good book and get lost in your imagination.
‘When you can’t control what is happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what is happening. THAT is where your power lies…’ -unknown.